A cat called Tombili

 There was a stray cat called Tombili..chubby

In the streets of Istanbul, he roamed. free..

Sitting on a bench,  stretched in exquisite laziness

He would watch the crowds of people in business

He probably wondered why.. why these peeps weren’t as free..

To stop and have a cuddle, a purr , have a moment free

For a being, more cute than sentient being really

He probably figured life better than you and me… actually 

He knew to rest, to observe, to snuggle …to take a cuddle..

To purr for attention, and take a walk when in a muddle

No rules for him, he roamed the night in Miaow might

Ever willing for a scratch, a brawl in streetlight for his lady cat

Or a cardboard box abandoned… maybe would chase a rat

But he knew to live and laze… and be in the now..

Yes , Tombili , he lived better than I do now

 The waves they wash my castle away…. the caved ruins 

I stand by the waves that come and go…my feet dry no more

Whimsical in their yearnings for me and the shore..

And I sit down to build the castle again ..knowing the ruins

For the momentous happiness defeats the disappointment of the dry shore

Truant joy..!

Protest your second nature

The birds they tweet aloud, almost in protest this morning..

The steadfast trees they sway their branches.. vehement No..

They all ask in their own silent ways, this morning…

Asking you to remember ..for she does not come second.. this or any morning! No!

I found you

 God, my dear..is not hiding in  rules..my love..

Nor  is he in piety, ritual, penance, holy books and mores ..

He hides in plain sight…yes he does..my love..

The world tries to judge.. us as  angels and whores..

Right and wrong..jealousy and desire..love and lust

Truth and Lies,  ephemeral and permanence....

Says all is not real and all is illusion and dust...

In all these contradictions.. that make not mortal sense

I found my god, in my moments vulnerable, love..

When I chose to love ..with all abandon..vulnerable 

I found God.. I found you..my love..

In the humble acceptance of what I am only capable 

That I am both love and lust..an angel and a whore

I am human and flawed and not a moral parable ..

And yet in the very contradiction, I stress no more..

For it is he who made me so.. My god and his love..

That made us and the world so…

Do you really think this was going to last forever?

He asks me as if though it is a shoe with a limited warranty

On a whim he calls me mine ..declares he wants me ever

What he forgets in his questionable forever without guarantee

Is that what we exchanged were souls not soles..

Yes, souls last forever and in this mutual exchange..

He forgets that the surrendered one does not change

Nor can he who owned a surrendered soul

Can he a day go without a thought of his beloved one?

All this sham of rules cannot erase the loved one

If he stood five feet, ….three inches away 

Can he really really in truth …stay away?

yes. My master and our gods know it real

That I am his forever and truth .. pure and real

That asks for nothing but to be owned without question 

For there never really was ever a real question 

Only an answer.. that I am his 

I choose to be a dandelion this fall…

 The many springs.. she lived slipped by in ether..

The harsh springs gently taught the truant her…

Not to yearn ..for love…for life or for a single hour..

Instead, she keeps single flower hidden in the pages

Of her favorite book, dried in hope as it ages..

And, this fall, she picks a dandelion wild

A weed, to grow free, to love herself true and wild

She makes a wish to the dancing dandelion in the wind..

A flying wish  ..to carry ... her true desires in the wind

Yes, she has figured that all it takes..

To know it ain’t always give for all who take..

And that joy is just the rare moments you choose to make..

Yes, this fall, she chooses..happiness over a birthday cake 

Chooses happiness and joy…for happiness sake..

The men .. they woo..

 The men, they woo..and love my mole

Say the right words…till you believe it whole

They promise me love...heart and soul..

A hint of love returned and they take a step back 

And there you will be yearning and wanting them back

Be a heartless swine  and hide your soul

And they will wait around you, foot and sole..

Leave them, don’t touch them with a pole…

All that don’t see your soul

 You want to me swim shallow..

In the surface.. float free in the stream.

Little do you know, Deep in the ocean below

I am a mermaid who lives in the depths..

A mermaid in love with an earthy you..a dream 

I try to swim shallow with you,  and follow..

While my gills crave for love’s real depth

My heart  choosing hesitant the pale..hollow.

Knowing I will drown deep in the shallow.

For you fear and won’t  follow me to our depth..

I choose this  moment shallow and hollow..

Than any eons without you and your hello..

I pretend my heart is just formless like jello

And fit your whims.. the deep or hollow

Someday you will know all my effort to be shallow

Are but my depth of  yearning every morrow

For I choose not to part from you in sorrow..

I would rather live this lie in shallow..

So I can live my truth of love.. with you.. my fellow!

Even if heart break is all that will follow!

Who is to blame?

There is a story of Nala and Damayanti

Where Nala leaves Damayanti

And the story of Shakuntala and Dushyanta..

Where Dushyanta forgets Shakuntala..

Why isn’t there an Indian tale..my love..

Where the woman leaves the man….

Where the woman forgets the man..

Is that why.. I don’t leave you.. my love..

Is that why.. I don’t forget you.. my love

And is that why you all leave?

Who is to blame? You?  Nala?Dushyanta?.

Or me that I love like Shakuntala?

Eat your brains!

 Today, I learned of a new creature, a sea squirt.. in the sea..

That boggles my brain…for all..it chooses to be and not be

This playboy creature, a fierce swimmer.. who ruled the sea..

Once it finds its  soul home… a cozy rock, safe against the sea

It eats its own brain.. until there is no grey matter left to be..

It decides not move or think …no more.. just chomp food from the sea

Resting on its happy rocky place , letting go of thought .. just to be..

The sea squirt , it learned the most from its brain.. that to be happy at sea 

It just needs to find its happy place and never think.. of the troubled sea

Who would have thunk, that a brainless sea squirt out at sea

.. Really has more brains than you and me?

Our hearts in a clasp

 They say that the baby’s heart..son..

Is the size of it’s closed fist..

And as it grows, to be a person..

The heart that was a closed fist..

Grows to the size of two hands.

Two hands that clasp together 

And beat in unison, two hands..

I think that is the message to gather

That as adults, for our hearts to beat

Our hands must hold their clasp together 

For our hearts to.. together in unison beat

 Waddles the kookaburra..

He lives somewhere far in Australia..I think

All I saw of him was a hasty Insta reel..

There is not much to say, 

He is just another Kookaburra ..

And yet.. Yes!

He lightened my heart, the Kookaburra 

Paused all my griefs and yearning, his feathers .. I think

All I saw of him was a hasty Insta reel..

But I have this to say..

He just ain’t just another Kookaburra..

He makes me happy for no reason.. I think

All I saw of him was a hasty insta reel

But I have this to say..

He is like you, my distant exotic Kookaburra 

You make happy for no rhyme nor reason , I think.

Hence I rhyme for all I can’t say but feel..

Waddles my Kookaburra 

Me - a mirage

 I look at myself in the mirror, and stand

A wannabe pretty face smiling at my image..

Then it sinks in,  as I count each white strand,

The wrinkles slowly creeping in as I age..

The ephemeral beauty, a line in the sand

The real beauty  hides within my soul ..sinner or sage?

Maybe neither I think, am just another speck of sand..

A paragraph maybe  I share in your lifetime’s page

Or maybe just moment that held your hand

I am just here for now, a glimmer.. an image

Here today.. not there tomorrow.. Poof!..a magic wand..

And yet, I stare at my ephemeral image..

Me - a mirage

It is never the big things…

It is never the big things, never the big promises..

That  ever really endure the test of time and age..

It is the small , the tiny.. the hugs, the smiles, the kisses..

That comes in waves as memories till death beyond age

When I ask myself.. why I love and what I love

There never are reasons rational …big and huge..

All I can say is , I love.. with all our flaws..!Love!

In the moments small that add up huge, however small

And all I ever ask of you, my dear love.. beyond all

Deny a lifetime, yea..but don’t deny the moments small..

 Fear..

As a wannabe poet, I sat down to describe fear..

Fear refuses to relent to be described so simply in words

For fear is not one emotion, but a platoon with swords 

An army of emotions marching to a lousy tune called fear..

Is fear.. love for when we love… we don’t want to lose

Is fear..desire for what we want… we want to get

Is fear.. guilt.. for whom we hurt.. we don’t want to hurt

Is fear..ego.. for who we are.. we don’t want to accept we aren’t 

Is fear… society.. for what it thinks .. we dont want it to change

Is fear.. hurt.. for what we suffered.. we don’t want to again

Is fear.. poverty.. for what we dread.. we don’t want to face

Is fear.. loneliness.. Is fear..ambition… Is fear.. power..

Is fear.. weakness.. Is fear..strength.. Is fear.. control 

Is fear..fate … Is fear.. destiny…Is fear..sin … Is fear.. evil..

Is fear…god.. Is fear.. cowardice… Is fear.. braver

Yes .. fear is all of it and none of it

Fear is when I paint an emotion in a negative hue

A negative hue of wanting to will it’s outcome true 

Knowing that i can only feel not decide how I feel..

Fearless is just me deciding bravely to feel..

Without adding a wrapper to how I want to feel..

Yes… choose to fearlessly feel ..even fear 

 How does one speak of love?

Does one declare it loud for all to hear?

Do our eyes say it all for love?

Do we just just whisper in their ear?

Do we hold them close to feel the love?

Do we express  it in passion without fear?

Do we write odes and verse for love?

Do we just caress them near and dear?

Do we shower  them with flowers for love?

Do we hold it all and hide it away in fear?

Do we try to clasp it for eternity as love?

Do we enjoy in the moment and leave it dear?

What would be the way, the right way to love?

I would say, just be .. just be .. just be there

For there never is a wrong way to love..

Just love.. for there are no wrongs in love 

 I look for you outside in the brightness

And I find you within my darkness..

I look for you in the books holy..in air and fire

And I find you in my heart..within my silent prayer

I look for you in the the rituals, the wrong, the fair and right 

And I find you close..far beyond my rigid views of right

I look for you in the wise .that know good  and do god prove 

I find you instead in the simple  and kind who know not to disprove..

I look for you in the rules, the  austere of  detachment …

Instead I find you in my moments of giving love..attachment 

I look for you in books and philosophy to explains life

I find you instead in faith that rests in peace when in strife

I look for you in moments of  tears, sorrow and sadness..

I find you instead in my moments of perseverance..oneness 

I look for you in my oaths and promises I keep 

I find you instead in the acts of kindness deep

I look for you in spiritual ways to find you

I find you when I completely lose my way to you 

I look to find you and when I search..I don’t find you..

I don’t find you and when I surrender ..you find me

 A wildflower blooms, right in the midst of early winter dawn,

It blooms in the cold mist, knowing very well the cruel freeze..

The snow and chill cannot deny her rebellious joy at dawn..

Even though, it be ephemeral and she will wilt with the icy freeze.

Fleeting joys too are so.. like a flower in misty midst of freeze

They will bloom carefree in the freeze like a dance in the spring breeze..

A moment of eternity that lasts the doom beyond the dawn

When a woman says no

 When a woman says No

Ah! Definitely she means No

Other times not, sometimes…No is a Yes

A  “No” then  is  where she wants you to say Yes

When a woman says ..Go! Don’t assume she means.. Go!

If she cares..most definitely , she really means…Don’t Go

Unless it is a loud Go to Hell or a boring grocery run..Then..Go!

For most times, she means and craves really to say.. Don’t Go

Just like when a woman says .. Don’t call

If she cares, she really means oh .. definitely do  call

Unless she is tad busy then  definitely.. Don’t call

If you get  muddled between  “No’ and “Don’t Go” and Don’t Call!

Know this that …you don’t really know… even she doesn’t really know..

Surrender to her whim and choose the side of  love and care

Then you would know ..I mean mostly know :)

When  a No means No  and when she really instead does care

If you read her wrong … god forbid ..and get muddled..

Err on the side of caution,  choose love..don’t be befuddled..

For women are to be loved  never really understood..

Now, that is a certainty right there to be understood..

All women  definitely do want to be loved….best

Even when they are their unlovable best

And yet another certainty does exist ..

Only a darn fool chooses to ignore a woman thus

who does so exist who truly cares for her man, thus!

Now end the fuss … 

 As I walk in the morning, the cardinal sings with pride 

It is almost as though you walk with me beside..

The past and present...all gets muddled in this nostalgic stride..

To talk of nothing and everything, as time does tide..

To have a soul that cares to walk in step, side by side..

Safe in thoughts, in words, in deep silence is a true might..

To know for a fact that you are loved with no way to hide..

To be so sure of us …even when we aren’t always on the right..

So sure that the other is always there..there in this life ride..

And all one needs… is to say…Let us take a walk....

Yes, as  I walk in the morning, the cardinal sings with pride 

It is almost as though you walk with me ..today..beside..

Without you, yes I can definitely take a walk..

And yet, in every walk, you are there beside..

With you, without you..Come .. let us take a walk!

Join in atleast to hear the cardinal’s song..and pride..

We will be quiet and we won’t talk!!

 Lukewarm love

Who really wants lukewarm love? me..not!

Just like coffee, love is best had hot

If you want to let it lie cold, 

Then for love, you ain’t bold

Love me bold or love me not

Hold me forever or just leave me cold

Don’t hold the cuppa in your hands warm..

And wait for it to be limp and lukewarm 

Set the cup down on the table, let it be..

Go your way … if we aren’t meant to be..

But if we are … then sip your coffee hot

And hold me tight, don’t let go..don’t let it rot

Simple brew for love…love me like I do…

Hot cofeee on a cold night.. and say .. Yes.. I do