Forty and more..

As I turn forty, mere numbers on the speedometer..these years.. this  life.,
Miles of my past whizz past, faces, voices..places... feelings...reduced to numbers..
Memories, choices, decisions, moments... vignettes from my life...
Like sand...childhood, teens,college, grad school, love.. marriage, family... the years slip away fast from my fingers
At every cross road, I chose a path then...
A path that found it's way to this moment...now..
Took me farther from that moment... then...
Friends, faces, near and dear...some still with me here... now
Some blurred in the strokes of distance and time diverged... memories from then...
In moments still and  true, I reflect...look back to then.. in nostalgia...
Memories, peace....a tinge of regret.. like ripples on a still lake...
 Thoughts that find no words...Feelings.. Aphasia..
My mind switching from past to present... the road ahead I must take...
Questions? Thoughts? Purpose?...Slowdown? Get ahead? Fast?
And thankfully.. before I can think too much...
The alarm clock rings to another day... Time to make breakfast
Hugs and morning cuddles, my daughter's giggles...  A friend calls...Work ahead...Life is such...
In these moments true and fleeting...I find reason...along the way
Yes, In the path I lead ahead...I know I shall measure not the years..
But  these moments true, when my soul knows it has found it's way...
Yes! Life goes on... Forty and more...in moments true..

Love..it said...

At Vegas tonight, I looked outside the window pane...
A bus stood waiting on the strip outside...
'Love' It said..as it waited for folks to hop on, hop off the sidelane..
Before it leaves on yet another ride..
Flashy billboards, Skyscraper greedy for the skies, Vanity!
Slot machines and poker tables, Cigarette smoke and stench of money
People walking... looking for fun...for sin...A sea of humanity..
Where love is just one night...Honey?
Yes, a bus stood waiting....on the strip outside..
"Love" It said..

My daughter turns 10...

Ten years ago, I held her..the first time amidst happy tears
Afraid to hold her, afraid...  afraid to fail her..
Ten years past, now.. I hold her in my frail fears
Afraid to let go, afraid...afraid that the world will fail her
Ten years hence, I know I will in nostalgia..yearn for these years
Afraid to face an empty nest, when the world beckons her
The years shall pass swift, and moments slow...
There are times, I will give up my world willingly for hers
And sometimes, grudgingly too..in moments low..
She comes first..Yes I will pause my dreams in lieu of her
The quandary is that...she shall my footsteps follow..
Someday when she is a mom, confused like me..
In a bid to be like me, Will she give up her dreams and follow?
That fear then.. makes me pursue my dreams in vigor...once more
I may pause my dreams for her...But..I will once again my dreams follow
Yes, I am Aanya's mom, yes I am...But I am more..
Decades hence,when she thinks of me and does my steps follow..
She shall say..."My mom pursued her dreams...So shall I!