Fake banter...Real Love...
In conversations …today and happy banter..
There was a question drowned in wine
They asked…What is your happiest moment.. like ever?
You.. Dancing in your arms alone..My happiest moment ever..
In that moment I felt your absence and yet I hid in cheery banter..
I remarked a fake “Now!" and resumed the banter..
To fake lives..fake conversations and fake banterš„
To help us survive real love!
I know not to frame words…
How does one frame words that spell feeling…
All words come out hollow..and loud
Like a loud screech from an untuned microphone
In lieu of music .. a shriek..
Say.. you want a hug .. a moment in light
Tenderness … Ask for it in words.. ugly words
The words.. they smell.. Unwashed laundry of whiny flaws
The moment’s yearning..morphs to monster in words
Painting an needy expectation.. trite .. with clingy claws
In lieu of painting unsaid desire..and chemistry
They come out all wrong, twisted ...my heart in knots …
“ I wish you would want me” .. I say
I sound like a prosecutor losing his plea in court
I wish instead, my words were a kindergarten scrawl,
A toddler scrawl of a huge childish ❤️ heart..
You would then atleast smile… at the innocence ..
The innocence of childish love and desire
And not see it as. grumble…quibble… a squabble
Not an ask .. a demand nor a cross for you to bear..
Just love .. a childish scrawl
The world is at my door,
Loud chatter, parties and conversations..
There is love and happiness…
And yet I seek my silence with you..
Knowing that silent togetherness..
That silent togetherness will always ..
Will always be a moment ..
A moment in eternity..
I tell my mind to choose noise ..
Not listen to my naive heart..
For silence.. he is whimsical..
Silence, he betrays me..
Leaving me abandoned..
Abandoned in eternity..
Holding onto a moment
Back to the world..
The world and it’s meaningless party ..
I go..
For noise, he is there .. constant..
Not eternity, not a moment..
But he is there..
Noise is steadfast…loyal
Silence …fleeting